Dear Family, Friends, and Colleagues,
I apologize about sending you a photocopied letter like this (and it's not even New Year's), but I've been really wrapped up in some big life changes without really staying in contact with a lot of you. Some people have sat with me through lots of tears, and others I just haven't had the opportunity to talk to. So, I wanted to write it all down so that I can be sure that I've given all the information to everyone who should know.
Well, first things first which is that part of why I haven't been around much is that I haven't been around much. I've been traveling a lot working on projects for a month at a time here and there, and it makes it hard to keep in touch with people (and the credit card companies). For example, I've walked a total of 680 miles since last September in 4 cities for different "Walking 9-5" projects.
When I have been home, I've been trying to figure out my personal life. There have been some revolutionary changes in my life since May of 2002, the biggest being that I have fallen head over heels in love with a woman. After having been married for 7 years to the first person I kissed at the age of 20, it's been quite a surprise to have a sexual awakening at the age of 32. I am so thankful to have been able to very thoughtfully and carefully transform my marriage into a strong friendship. So I've gained a really close friend.
I'm afraid that I've thought of myself as an asexual person all this time. I mean, there is certainly a lot more to life than sex, but I've discovered in this past year, that there's not much that's more fun when you're deeply in love! I think the main thing is that feeling this way about your partner can cut through a lot of bullshit. I can be so angry with Debi for some foolish thing, and if she just kisses me once, the anger starts to melt away. I think maybe sex is the magic that reminds us how much we love one another. But there has to be enough attraction to make you want to do it when you're pissed at each other! My God, I want to make love with Debi every time I lay my eyes on her.
I was always a wanna-be lesbian. At Hampshire College, even with half my friends being lesbians, I didn't think I qualified, you know? I realize now, that wishing you could be a lesbian is not like wishing you could be tall which you literally can't change. Sometimes the changes are pretty involved (I'm so glad I didn't have kids), but WOW, it's worth it to be able to love a woman.
This has, of course, all manifested itself in my rather diary like drawings. A friend of mine once asked me why there wasn't any sex in my work, and I said, "Well, there isn't much sex in my life...". Now there is. I'm having a show in September called "Integrating Sex into Everyday Life" because that's what it's felt like this past year for me.
So please come by and see the show and say hi and let's catch up. I'll be living in the gallery for the month and I'll be there almost everyday, so you'll be pretty sure to catch me.
Danica
OK. All my best for you and I'm looking forward to hearing about what's been going on in your life.